Sick Leave

Person A: When is a good time to write to the boss and tell him i'm sick?
Moi: Never and always!
Person A: Huh? How so?
Moi: Never for the boss, always for you!

Bandra Boy II

~Time of Day: just past midnight~
Friend 2: Okay, that was a long discussion. I think I need to go to sleep now.

Friend 1: What's with sleeping off at midnight? This sounds like the cindrella-esque story of Bandra Boy [BB].

~Both ponder for a while on how BB is off to bed at midnight. Friend 1, the worldly one, offers a possible solution.~

Friend 1: Do you think like you, BB too needs his beauty sleep?

Friend 2: Why would BB need beauty sleep? Do you think it will matter?

~Sounding all smart, Friend 1 replies~

Friend 1: Maybe its for his inner beauty?

~Friend 2 is now rolling on the floor laughing and holding onto the stomach~

Friend 2: Inner beauty? Are we talking about the same person?

~Both slip into deep thought again on the absurdity of the statement. Friend 1, as usual, offers a solution~

Friend 1: Yes, for his Inner beauty! Maybe he needs it to even have a nice thing to say once a day.

~Friend 2 is again rolling on the floor laughing...~

Bandra Boy I

Friend 1: I have not seen Bandra Boy [BB] online or connected with him since the day he was to leave for Canada.

Friend 2: I have not seen BB either. He seems to be incommunicado. Wonder whether he's hooked up with some chick out there.

~Both ponder for a while to realize the incredulous thought they just had. They decide to ignore the thought and act as if it never happened. Friend 1, the worldly one, offers a possible solution.~

Friend 1: Do you think that it is possible that some dudes beat him up out there?

Friend 2: Why would anyone want to hit BB?

~Sounding all smart, Friend 1 replies~

Friend 1: Maybe some Indian dudes thought he was Canadian and beat him up for the racial abuse in Australia?

~Friend 2 now excited by the plot~

Friend 2: Yea, he probably kept pleading that he was Indian. But, when they asked him to speak in Hindi, all he could muster was namaste!

Lucky huh?

This has got to be the funniest fortune that I have read/heard ever. I hope that they were merely kidding and this was not for true. No big loss for me if it happened though. The fortune that was thrown up everytime I logged in [yes, I do not go looking for it like you would guess] was hardly correct. Funny yes, accurate no.
This is what it was today...

"The guy who reads your fortune lost his psychic powers (and his job). We hope you are feeling lucky."

Some people do have a good sense of humor. Always appreciated.

On a similar note, I saw this commercial that was very sweet, sensible and one hell of an idea to have come up with. I kept wondering what it was until the very end... A wonderfully thought out one.
Video Courtesy: Vodafone and Youtube.com

Breakups

Someone I know posted this on Facebook. It was so hilarious that I had to post it here.
This seems like the quintessential 'formula' that people always seem to talk about when discussing relationships. I do not subscribe to this particular view or the school of thought that it comes from. Then again, I don't really know which school I belong to. Maybe there are a few stories in the past. Treat it as it is meant to be: Mindless Humour. Video Courtesy: www.youtube.com

Halloween Humor

Interesting take on the policies of the Democrats, espoused by the President-Elect Barack Obama.
Picture Courtesy: Greg Mankiw. The cartoonist is unknown

An unfortunate soothsayer's world today presented by this cartoon where the person who predicts ill in the market , Prof. Nouriel Roubini is called Dr. Doom for his prophecies.
Picture Courtesy: Greg Mankiw. The cartoonist is unknown

Fresh off the boat

Elections are done, dreams have come true. The unlikeliest candidate is now the President of the United States. A rather nobody, a wonderful orator and a leader who inspires. Nevertheless, little to no experience under the belt.

As I watched the below video, only one thing came to mind. What if this is Barack Obama? What would happen to the world?

Video Courtesy: Yes Prime-minister and BBC through www.youtube.com

This reminds me of the word that defines newbies to the US: Fresh off the boat. Not really sure what has to be done and not entirely comfortable and fitting into the situation at hand.

For the love of god and the future of the United States and that of the world, I hope that this is what it is: British humor.

Marriage and Melodrama

Photo Copyright - Gotta be Max - www.nfyniti.com

And yet another douche bag bites the dust.
This is exactly how I felt when I heard of a friend getting ready to tie the proverbial knot. Don't get me wrong. I don't think of marriage as the end of the road. It is merely a road that I do not understand. And if you were to hear a few people I know [cannot call them out for their own sake] speak their mind, they tell me about what a great mistake marriage was.

Statistic: There is enough empirical evidence to prove that men are likely to say how marriage was a mistake and that they had a lot more fun in a life prior to that. Women on the other hand are likely to say that marriage was the best thing that happened to them and they would not trade it for the world.

Truth be told, I cannot think of myself married. I am 'old enough' to get married. I have friends who are married. I have colleagues who are married. I have colleagues who have kids. That is not a problem. Am I a kid? Maybe. A disputed factor, depending on whom you choose to speak to. Am I mature enough? Again, opinions vary on this topic. If you ask my dad, I think it is safe to assume that he will say that I am good for nothing. I try to think of someone who will counter that view, but I think that is a self-fulfilling prophecy more than anything else. Let us not go down that road.

Under the assumption that I can indeed get married [old enough, dumb enough and mature enough], the next question is to obviously the right girl. Let us face it. This blog is black in color, no flowers or smileys. Dont tell me you thought I was a girl. Or gay for that matter. Sorry to those amongst two and a third of my followers who had intentions of setting me up with their guy cousin who is a 'Systems Architect' working for Infosys and currently working at client-side in Columbus, OH. That is just not happening.

Do I have commitment fears? I would think not. Some people I know would think so. But, it is not the case. Why, commitment is the second strength that I always quote in all interviews. Commitment to my goals, commitment to my dreams and commitment to my success. It is not difficult to extend this commitment, enthusiasm and interest beyond the realms of an interview. I ask myself this question and I know that I do not have the fear.

So, what is it? Is it the pressure of the decision, the importance of the decision? I would think not. I think I will have thought things out before I take the plunge. So that is not a fear. Yes, you can never predict the equity market and the mind of a woman. But, it is a fair risk-adjusted project I would believe.

Can I not compromise or adjust with the newer or maybe different ways of life? Not really. Have been there before and that is not an issue. People who know me know that I can generally get along with most people, can adjust in almost all settings and am very accomodating in most respects. Think otherwise? Feel free to leave a comment. Not smart-ass ones though.

Is it the closing of doors on 'opportunities'? Well, no comments. The less on this topic, the better. Else, I know that this is come back to bite me. Not that I plan to run for the President of the United States. But, enough people can link this back to me for me to keep quiet. Let me just say that I am a single-girl-at-a-time-guy.

Is it the horse-with-eyes-covered-limited-vision syndrome? Maybe. I really hate to see when guys go 'sorry Mate, plans with wife'. Or 'Wife is alone at home'. Come on dude, she is not going to run away. She is not going to have an affair with the milk-man [are there any of those existing? Maybe in Columbus, OH.]. You want to spend time with her, that I understand. You do not want to antagonize her, that too I understand. It is her birthday, I would personally kill you if you were not with her. Unless you are an Investment Banker at WhatEverRemains Capital that is. It is the 200th day since your paths crossed each others in a dim-lit party in the meat-packing? Give me a break. I am sure that you can spare a couple of hours for friends of the yore. Or carry on your tradition of poker on a Wednesday night with cigars and beer.

Can I not speak on the phone for hours? Hell Yea! Enough experience on that front, not a problem. Though I have to say that I do not think too highly of losers on the train/bus/public transport who can go on and on. Get a room!

Have I not met the right person? Well, everytime I me[e]t her, she seemed like the right person. But, then again, maybe not. Tough to say. A matter of perspective. I will think that this was never the cause.

What is it? After Porter's five forces, three C's, four P's, BCG Matrix, and various other methodologies of solving the case, I really do not have an answer to this. Well, let me rephrase that. I do have an answer. I just do not know the reasons and the thought process behind the answer.

Maybe, someday she [whoever ever that turns out to be] will show me the light at the end of this tunnel of darkness. And hopefully it will not be the train.

Until then, I hold my ground. Thankfully, my parents are not yet on my case. They seem a while away on that front.

Make hay while the sun shines
Light the town, when it is down

I believe that I speak for most people my age. There is really no reason for shirking away from marriage. For most, the right girl is there. And the opportunity to as well. And yet, there is a weird non-Newtonian centripetal force that pushes you away from the depths of marriage. I do not have to deal with it just right now. But, I know I will have to deal with it someday. I need to find an answer to this.

Good News

Apparently, I have been going to the fortune teller way too frequently. Well, not really. In this day and age, the internet brings it to your home, for free and often unsolicited.

Today's fortune was interesting: Good news will be brought to you by mail

Let me assure you that the news that I await and that I would classify as 'Good News' will arrive by mail.

Fingers crossed, prayers said, agarbattis lit and blessings sought. Let that Good News arrive... first by e-mail, then via telephone and finally via Fed-Ex.

British Humour

In classic British humour style, the Long Johns - John Bird and John Fortune explain the subprime crisis and the reasons behind the same and the role that Investment bankers play.


Video Courtesy: youtube.com

Obama's Tax Policies

This is just one of the reasons that people should NOT vote for Barack Obama...

Picture Courtesy: BradFitzpatrick.com

Changes to the marketplace

A satirical piece on the current state of affairs. I am pulled between laughing and appreciating the joke and cynicism on what all is happening.


The Job, was created by Screaming Frog Productions and has played at over 100 international film festivals and has been honored with 27 awards.

Musings on markets

I was inspired by the blog 'Musings on Markets' that has Prof. Aswath Damodaran writing on his views on the state of the world markets, corporate finance and valuation. I do not need a lot to get inspired, but this one person is arguably the father of modern corporate finance.

If you don't believe me, check this out...

Inspired, I wrote my own hideous and childish lines...

teree raah dekte reh gaye
dil ke armaan dil mein hee reh gaye

vaada toh kiya aapne
vaade vaade hee reh gaye

socha abhi abhi aayega
socha kabhi bhi aayega

par woh nazar mein naa aayaa
dooor jaata hee chalaa gayaa

rouu mein yaa gamm mein hassoon
iss utaar chhadhao may kitni deir mein phassoon

aye market tu kab waapas aayega
ujde chaman kab bhagaayegaa

ek baari aaaja aaajaa aaaa jaaa...
uuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuu

Quirks of a Software Professional

Trust the irritating (for anyone outside the IT realm) software professional to use Microsoft Outlook to sensationalise even the most trivial of issues into a matter of great National Security (second in this regard only to Dubyaman - George Bush).
Here is a snippet of an actual mail that was sent to the admin assistant of the team.
The reason: there was an overhead light (diffused light if i may add...) that was interfering with Mr. Merlin whilst at work.
The issue was raised previously and the lights were shut-off. Then suddenly out of the blue, they were turned ON again...
This prompted the following mail...

Hi xyz...
This is regarding the beam lights... They are affecting me and ameet and resulting in an under-utilization of the available valuable resources and hence our company must come up with optimal processes to allocate the adequate lights to the appropriate beams so that the work is done efficiently and the average productivity is above the industry standards which will help the organization to attract more customers and acquire more business thus resulting in more profits and also meet our annual targets for the profits in order to sustain in the competitive market situation !!
Please Help !!!!

And guess what??? This mail was actually forwarded to the divisional head! :)
Everyone has a quirky sense of humour these days! ;)

PS: If it crossed your mind that I am sensationalising a trivial issue...you are absolutely right! :)