Marriage and Melodrama

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And yet another douche bag bites the dust.
This is exactly how I felt when I heard of a friend getting ready to tie the proverbial knot. Don't get me wrong. I don't think of marriage as the end of the road. It is merely a road that I do not understand. And if you were to hear a few people I know [cannot call them out for their own sake] speak their mind, they tell me about what a great mistake marriage was.

Statistic: There is enough empirical evidence to prove that men are likely to say how marriage was a mistake and that they had a lot more fun in a life prior to that. Women on the other hand are likely to say that marriage was the best thing that happened to them and they would not trade it for the world.

Truth be told, I cannot think of myself married. I am 'old enough' to get married. I have friends who are married. I have colleagues who are married. I have colleagues who have kids. That is not a problem. Am I a kid? Maybe. A disputed factor, depending on whom you choose to speak to. Am I mature enough? Again, opinions vary on this topic. If you ask my dad, I think it is safe to assume that he will say that I am good for nothing. I try to think of someone who will counter that view, but I think that is a self-fulfilling prophecy more than anything else. Let us not go down that road.

Under the assumption that I can indeed get married [old enough, dumb enough and mature enough], the next question is to obviously the right girl. Let us face it. This blog is black in color, no flowers or smileys. Dont tell me you thought I was a girl. Or gay for that matter. Sorry to those amongst two and a third of my followers who had intentions of setting me up with their guy cousin who is a 'Systems Architect' working for Infosys and currently working at client-side in Columbus, OH. That is just not happening.

Do I have commitment fears? I would think not. Some people I know would think so. But, it is not the case. Why, commitment is the second strength that I always quote in all interviews. Commitment to my goals, commitment to my dreams and commitment to my success. It is not difficult to extend this commitment, enthusiasm and interest beyond the realms of an interview. I ask myself this question and I know that I do not have the fear.

So, what is it? Is it the pressure of the decision, the importance of the decision? I would think not. I think I will have thought things out before I take the plunge. So that is not a fear. Yes, you can never predict the equity market and the mind of a woman. But, it is a fair risk-adjusted project I would believe.

Can I not compromise or adjust with the newer or maybe different ways of life? Not really. Have been there before and that is not an issue. People who know me know that I can generally get along with most people, can adjust in almost all settings and am very accomodating in most respects. Think otherwise? Feel free to leave a comment. Not smart-ass ones though.

Is it the closing of doors on 'opportunities'? Well, no comments. The less on this topic, the better. Else, I know that this is come back to bite me. Not that I plan to run for the President of the United States. But, enough people can link this back to me for me to keep quiet. Let me just say that I am a single-girl-at-a-time-guy.

Is it the horse-with-eyes-covered-limited-vision syndrome? Maybe. I really hate to see when guys go 'sorry Mate, plans with wife'. Or 'Wife is alone at home'. Come on dude, she is not going to run away. She is not going to have an affair with the milk-man [are there any of those existing? Maybe in Columbus, OH.]. You want to spend time with her, that I understand. You do not want to antagonize her, that too I understand. It is her birthday, I would personally kill you if you were not with her. Unless you are an Investment Banker at WhatEverRemains Capital that is. It is the 200th day since your paths crossed each others in a dim-lit party in the meat-packing? Give me a break. I am sure that you can spare a couple of hours for friends of the yore. Or carry on your tradition of poker on a Wednesday night with cigars and beer.

Can I not speak on the phone for hours? Hell Yea! Enough experience on that front, not a problem. Though I have to say that I do not think too highly of losers on the train/bus/public transport who can go on and on. Get a room!

Have I not met the right person? Well, everytime I me[e]t her, she seemed like the right person. But, then again, maybe not. Tough to say. A matter of perspective. I will think that this was never the cause.

What is it? After Porter's five forces, three C's, four P's, BCG Matrix, and various other methodologies of solving the case, I really do not have an answer to this. Well, let me rephrase that. I do have an answer. I just do not know the reasons and the thought process behind the answer.

Maybe, someday she [whoever ever that turns out to be] will show me the light at the end of this tunnel of darkness. And hopefully it will not be the train.

Until then, I hold my ground. Thankfully, my parents are not yet on my case. They seem a while away on that front.

Make hay while the sun shines
Light the town, when it is down

I believe that I speak for most people my age. There is really no reason for shirking away from marriage. For most, the right girl is there. And the opportunity to as well. And yet, there is a weird non-Newtonian centripetal force that pushes you away from the depths of marriage. I do not have to deal with it just right now. But, I know I will have to deal with it someday. I need to find an answer to this.