Quirks of a Software Professional

Trust the irritating (for anyone outside the IT realm) software professional to use Microsoft Outlook to sensationalise even the most trivial of issues into a matter of great National Security (second in this regard only to Dubyaman - George Bush).
Here is a snippet of an actual mail that was sent to the admin assistant of the team.
The reason: there was an overhead light (diffused light if i may add...) that was interfering with Mr. Merlin whilst at work.
The issue was raised previously and the lights were shut-off. Then suddenly out of the blue, they were turned ON again...
This prompted the following mail...

Hi xyz...
This is regarding the beam lights... They are affecting me and ameet and resulting in an under-utilization of the available valuable resources and hence our company must come up with optimal processes to allocate the adequate lights to the appropriate beams so that the work is done efficiently and the average productivity is above the industry standards which will help the organization to attract more customers and acquire more business thus resulting in more profits and also meet our annual targets for the profits in order to sustain in the competitive market situation !!
Please Help !!!!

And guess what??? This mail was actually forwarded to the divisional head! :)
Everyone has a quirky sense of humour these days! ;)

PS: If it crossed your mind that I am sensationalising a trivial issue...you are absolutely right! :)