Change

Change is the only Constant
- Anon

Given that the entire world is in a state of flux and is constantly changing. I too have decided and promised to change myself to what I wish to achieve. I got this idea from the most unlikliest of sources. It was one of those websites whose entire value proposition is to ask individuals to list things that they want to achieve in their lifetimes. Things like Backpacking at the foots of Mt. Tibedaabo, BASE Jumping among others.

I asked myself, what are the two most important things that I want to happen. I realized that both of them and many of the following ones were not entirely within my own hands. I decided to change myself in a way that was for my own good and in a way, in my own hand.
One is a personal trait while the other is a habit. I am hopeful. I am confident. I am going to try my best[est]. Wish me luck.

-max

Mera Mustaqbil

This is a dab at a few verses in Urdu. This is in a state of flux and is likely to expand at a later stage.

Photo Courtesy: www.gannonandbenjamin.com

andhere ke sannaate ko choor karte
savere ek nayaa sooraj nikala
iss naye daur ki roshni mein
andekha sa hua pichli raat ka masla

tujhse hai yahee meri iltejaa
aye moula aye mere khudaa
manzil hai saamne mere
mustaqbil se ab naa kar judaa

manzil hai saamne mere
mustaqbil se ab naa kar judaa

- Miyan Max

Going gets tough

The old adage is When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I am not entirely sure if that applies to the current market scenario. For, even the toughest tend to slide down the slope that the falling Dow Jones [and other stock indices] have created.

I am not sure if I am tough and would hardly want comment on it. Nevertheless, I will say that the conditions are indeed very tough. Every once in a while, me and my friends look at the malaise and its never ending downward spiral and wish to hang our boots in hopelessness.

In times such as this, I make it a point to watch this video. It is ludicrous and almost insanely hysterical. And yet, it makes a good point and sends across a strong message. Here is finding meaning in a medium where I believe none was really intended.

Video Courtesy: Joel Pena Arias through www.youtube.com

The Life After

A video on what it means to be out of a job in a market such as this...

I walked up to the casino table, nothing really in my pocket
And I am leaving, nothing really in my pocket
But between that time, man was I on a roll!

Video Courtesy: UntuckedFilms through youtube.com

Sutli Bomb and more

It is the festival of lights. It is Diwali time. There is just one problem. It hardly feels like it is Diwali. There is no buzz in the air or a sense of purpose that you see on most minds. Well, there is a reason... this is the US of A and not India. And while I live in arguably the 31st state of India, New Jersey, it is still not the same.

For one, there are no firecrackers, diyas - earthen oil lamps that dote the landscape. There are no adhoc sweet-shops or elaborately dressed individuals heading to their friends house or better still, to the temple. You will find the odd dot-head draped in a saree covered by the warmth of black Ralph Lauren over-coats. But that is all. For a community that boasts of the number of South Asians that it has, it is entirely strange and quizzical.

Well, we wouldn't let our brethren dampen our spirits would we? With all the enthusiasm befit of the festival, we decided to take the trek to the local temple. Well, local is two hours away. We got up bright and early. Ummm... errr... not entirely. With no mom or grand-mom to wake us up, we managed to get up at a leisurely quarter past six. That is, after seven snoozes on the alarms. I showered in the traditional manner with coconut oil and the works. Why? For the kicks. I don't think I appeciated it back in India. Apparently, I now do. Wearing the new janevu - sacred thread, I offered whatever prayers that I knew. It is a shame, given that my grand-dad can read and recite all the hindu religious books in chaste Sanskrit and often performs religious ceremonies.

Finally, dressed in new clothes and super charged up, we set out for the temple. The temple is in Flushing, NY. I live in Jersey City, NJ. That is the meaning of a local temple. The average time for travel is typically 90-120 mins. To get a sense of the travel, click here. Anyway, this was my first time and I was super excited. After four train journeys [yes, four], we finally arrived in Flushing. Well, not at the temple. This was now a bus ride away. I asked myself, why on earth would anyone build a temple so far. Again, I reminded myself, we are not in India. We are in NY and its sky-rocketed real-estate prices. I should hardly be complaining. I wasn't.

We had to take the MTA bus. The problem was that we got confused and took the wrong bus. Next, we got off at the wrong stop. Actually, we realized that we were lost and decided to get off. Thank god for friends, google maps and hopstop.com. After fifteen minutes of help from friends, who directed us in the right direction, we got to the temple site.

The temple was under construction. There was a shiver down our spine as we wondered if the temple was in fact shut for construction. Luckily for us, it was not. As we entered, we saw tam families enter with exquisite sarees and other Indian fare. We on the other hand were dressed normally. My friend gave me a don't blame me look: don't look at me, I have to goto work after this. We convinced ourselves that god would appreciate our sacrifices in coming all the way out there and ignore any irrelevant details.

The temple - a Ganesh temple, was a nice temple. There was some good artwork and despite the constuction activity and NY location had the aura of a temple. We were in time for aarti. After praying to Lord Ganpati for a good job and other things, we prayed to the other deities there as well.

We then went to the famed cafeteria [Hindu temples generally have great food] for some food. True to its reputation, we had some wonderful South Indian food. As was expected, my South Indian tam-bram friend didn't think too highly of the food. Yet, it was appreciated given the circumstances.

Tangent: South Indian tam-brams will hardly appreciate anything other than their own mother's cooking. Understandably so.

We also picked up some chakli - spicy Indian snacks and some barfi and halwa - Indian sweets.

Happy with our journey, we decided to get back to the city and back to our lives in school. And while I had an exam on the day of Diwali and another the day after Laxmi Puja - festival of the goddess of wealth, we did try and enjoy our diwali. It is interesting to note that both these exams were conducted by Indian professors. B-ah! Bloody Indians!

Diwali night was capped with a wonderful and stuffing-oneself dinner at the Tiffin Wallah, a fine Indian vegeterian-kosher restaurant.

All in all, it was a wonderful Diwali experience. I still do miss the Sutli-bomb, the lights and the sweets. But, it was a good experience, given the circumstances.

For the record, Sutli-bomb is not the same as a Sultry Bomb. I am sure everyone likes those. A Sutli-bomb is a fire-cracker with a fuse called the sutli. It generates a loud explosion and is standard fare for Diwali. Just for the record, these crackers are handled by children and peace-loving individuals, not kalashnikov-totting terrorists.

The next plan is to have a taash [poker] session on the weekend. Plan is to start in the evening and go through the night. Diwali, I would say was well enjoyed.

Parting notes
Mr. Landlord: Do not worry a bit. As instructed, we did not light any diyas at home. I understand your fear of fire. Especially given that you have chosen not to repair the fire-alarm.

Mr. Obama: Thank you for your wishes. They cut no ice. Not that I can vote, but that does not mean I cannot have an opinion. Go McCain!

ABCDs and Socialists: Don't be so shocked. Obama is no good. And get that Bloody Indians! look off your face.

Finance Guys: May Laxmi Puja mark the start of an economic revival. May things look up again.

Wish you a Happy Diwali and a prosperous New Year. Peace and Joy to all!

Keep Walking!

Life often leaves us all stranded at weird crossroads. Eeriness in sight with life as we have known it as a distant reality. A challenge, a sitation, a problem to which we do not have an answer and are afraid to ask for one as well. Afraid not because we wish to not look stupid. Afraid rather because we do not wish to know what the answer would be. We live in denial like an Ostrich with its head in the sand, hoping it will all go away and things will be just as they were or rather just as we want them to be. However, life has its own timeline and pace to operate, does it not? You would think.

This is the story of a 20-something girl named Neha. At one instance, she is driving down a pristine and scenic road in a coupé with her friends by the side, music blaring and smiles a mile wide. It is one of those angelic smiles that can melt just about any heart. And yet, there is nothing angelic about her. In a couple of meetings, you realize that what you think is angelic is actually naughty and playful. Living her life to the hilt, she is a girl who pursues her dreams and is not wary to challenge the world or to speak her mind. Just when you think that nothing could go wrong, you realize that you may infact have jinxed it. All of a sudden, she finds herself on a bench, all alone. She seems to be away from her friends, her loved and dear ones. There is a quiet breeze blowing and all she can hear is her heart pounding.

Photo Copyright - Gotta be Max - www.nfyniti.com
Life throws us many a curve-ball. Some we hit out of the park for a home-run, dancing our way to victory. Some do not meet that fate and leave us stranded. That mon ami is the way of life. You win some, you lose some. The trick is to celebrate those that you score and to take the rest in stride. Life is cyclical, ups and downs an integral part. Ignore not the falls for they teach you a valuable lesson. They teach you how to fall. More importantly, they teach you how to get up. Falling is not a sin, choosing not to get up is.

Neha is hardly one of those who would not get up. Pits in her life have been deep. Pits in her life have been many. Yet, she has clambered out, albeit with a few bruises. Taking them in her stride, she marched on, her head held high. She learnt what history had to teach, not rueful of the falls she had. In one such trench, she promised herself that there were to be no more of these. New ones, maybe. But, none of the ones she has already seen. She had learned the trick and the smile was back. We were happy that she was happy. She was happy that we were too. And then, that curve-ball came again.

If you ask me how to describe life, I would say it is about hope. The hope of getting out of the pits, however deep they may seem to be. Hiding in there for a while is okay. Hiding there, not wanting to get out is probably not as good. However deep it may seem to be, one needs to have hope. Hope to clamber out eventually. Hope to get a response to the clamor for help. Hope to be back on one's feet going about one's business. Hope that one would not be buried in by the sand that the wind were to bring over time. Hope is a beautiful creation of the Holy One. It is the single weapon that the most despondent bedouin has in his search for an oasis in the expanses of a scorching hot desert. The easiest thing to do is to give up, hang your boots and be the autumn leaf that lets the meandering river choose the path.

Neha had become that autumn leaf. She seemed to have given up, resigned to her fate. She felt that she could never swim upstream. She felt she could not swim at all. Not a soul would have said that it was to be a piece of chocolate cheese cake. And yet, most would have said that it was possible. Easy? Darned no. Possible? Most definitely yes! But her eyes could see only that which she wanted herself to. Her ears listening to only that which she wanted to as well.

Let me step back a couple of paces and admit that I do not know the entire story. Not because I do not care to find out or ask. Rather, because I choose not to ask. She chooses not to speak. If she wanted to speak about it, it would have been spoken about. If she could speak about it, it would not have changed the course of her life. It is surely not a trivial matter and I would hardly wish to suggest that. I understand the gravity of it all. Or do I not?

Neha felt the gravity of it all pulling her down. She fought, bravely and valiantly. Yet, deep down she was not convinced herself. She was not sure if things would go back to being as picturesque as they were. She tried hard to be positive and happy. But, life persisted with small blows with eerie precision at regular intervals. Just when she had steadied herself, she would fall again. Walking on thin ice, status quo was hard to maintain.

Status quo can sometimes be the easiest thing to maintain. Do nothing at all and say nothing as well. To be where you are and to not move an inch. However, change is the only constant. And yet, it is hard to change. To change yourself, to change your thoughts, to see change and to move with it.

Neha moved on. She decided to change. Or did she not? It is difficult to say given that she is a person of her mind. But there was a semblance of sense. A sense of chaotic orderliness that seemed to prevail. It was to be the calm waters at the surface and yet turbulence deep beneath. We did not see it coming. We did not see that she was at a dead end.

In our journey called life, we sometimes come across a dead end. No path in sight, no path in place, we are mystified. Should we turn back and find another path? Should we take it as a sign? Is it time to call it a day? It is time to go to the cleaners? A short answer: NO. It is never the time to go to the cleaners.

Let me at this time bring perspectives of my own life as an example. Like every person on the street, I too have challenges in life. Maybe more than the rest. Who am I to pass verdict on this? Some may think that its not too bad for me. In business school at a time when everything could go wrong is going wrong. And even more. The only way seems to be down. As I run pillar to post to secure for ourselves a sound future, I see myself running myself of options. No end in sight, it is tough to not lose hope. To resign to fate and to brood over the times we see. Have I thought about it? I would be lying if I said no. We all have moments of weakness. We cry, drink down our sorrows, shut ourselves from the world, cry some more and drink a lot more. I curse all and sundry and keep asking god... why me? Why now? But, the sun rises the next day, as do I, keeping what happened in the past there and start a brand new day. Bringing purpose, direction and motivation, I try to reason with myself that it will all end one day.

Neha, the pain will all end one day. That day may not be today, may not be tomorrow or the day after. The day will come. Do not lose hope. Life is such a beautiful journey. Don't let a single incident take away from you the best gift that god has given you. I do not know what it is that makes you cry. I do not know what it is that makes you weep. But, I can assure you that it will go away. There will be a way and you will see it. Maybe it is already there.

Drastic measures are not the solution. REPEAT: Drastic measures are not the solution. There is nothing that you will have achieved through this. You don't have to fight the problems today. However, don't run away from them as well. Your family is by your side. As are your friends. Nevertheless, there are some battles that you have to fight by yourselves. This is one such battle. For, this time you have to fight with your own self.

Whatever happens, pick up your baggage and move on. If the baggage is heavy, leave it behind. Keep Walking!

PS: For a change, I do know this girl.
PS-2: For a change, this is not an 'it is a friend, which is actually me' story
PS-3: As usual, if its not a Wii, its not worth mentioning it. [Only a few people will understand this joke]

British Humour

In classic British humour style, the Long Johns - John Bird and John Fortune explain the subprime crisis and the reasons behind the same and the role that Investment bankers play.


Video Courtesy: youtube.com

Where the Life is?

Photo Copyright: Gotta Be Max - www.nfyniti.com
These are tumultuous times that we see. As I stand at the crossroads of life, I find it an unseeming quagmire. Where are we heading today? What do I seek and why? Is it just an item in a long list of to-dos? Or is it not? Will it be relief, joy, exhilaration, rejection, grief or sheer despondency? As the true thriller that life is, one can never tell.

Where has all the fun gone? Bring back the smile
There is fun, joy, lots of laughs and kodak moments with friends. It is for real and nothing is fake. The smile is back, strong as ever. And yet, as a dear friend will claim, there is something amiss. It is a mystery that has not been solved. For, there is no answer in sight. Will the goal be the end of the quagmire? Or will it not? Is there something more than that meets the eye. There are many questions, most of them unanswered.

Picking and prodding never works, let alone in this case. Drastic measures have been tried. Their outcome, not encouraging. Their side-effects, aplenty. Quite a few sleepless nights away, insomnia is a way of life. Sleep by day and awake by night, life seems like a trans-atlantic flight. Drinks go missed and parties abegging. And while life is not far from normal, one does ponder: where the life is?

Burning Down The House

A video on what caused the US economic crisis. It seems like a John McCain propaganda machine, but one cannot run away from the hard economic facts. It is a long video, but it is well researched and documented. Poor music choice and a bit of political rhetoric in the end as well.

Video courtesy: youtube.com

Obama's Tax Policies

This is just one of the reasons that people should NOT vote for Barack Obama...

Picture Courtesy: BradFitzpatrick.com

Changes to the marketplace

A satirical piece on the current state of affairs. I am pulled between laughing and appreciating the joke and cynicism on what all is happening.


The Job, was created by Screaming Frog Productions and has played at over 100 international film festivals and has been honored with 27 awards.

Musings on markets

I was inspired by the blog 'Musings on Markets' that has Prof. Aswath Damodaran writing on his views on the state of the world markets, corporate finance and valuation. I do not need a lot to get inspired, but this one person is arguably the father of modern corporate finance.

If you don't believe me, check this out...

Inspired, I wrote my own hideous and childish lines...

teree raah dekte reh gaye
dil ke armaan dil mein hee reh gaye

vaada toh kiya aapne
vaade vaade hee reh gaye

socha abhi abhi aayega
socha kabhi bhi aayega

par woh nazar mein naa aayaa
dooor jaata hee chalaa gayaa

rouu mein yaa gamm mein hassoon
iss utaar chhadhao may kitni deir mein phassoon

aye market tu kab waapas aayega
ujde chaman kab bhagaayegaa

ek baari aaaja aaajaa aaaa jaaa...
uuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuu